Barefoot Hippie’s blog

I was recently in a forum where the subject turned to beliefs (or not believing). Now, I am Christian. I have many friends on Yahoo, MySpace, My Year Book and many other sites who are non-believers or of other faiths. I have never judged. I have never deleted because of someone's beliefs. I have been asked many times why I believe and many have tried to explain to me why I SHOULDN'T believe. I kindly change the subject and move on to something else. I have the right to believe in God just as much as anyone else has the right not to believe in anything.

So, in this forum I had been asked several times by professed Atheist WHY I BELIEVED. I answered them (didn't preach--just answered). No harm in asking a simple question. I was not offended. So, I posed the question how they could believe in nothing. I said I was not preaching...I never have done that to anyone. I just said I wanted to know the basic principles (ummmmm beliefs, if you will) of Atheist. It was a sincere question. I have never known an Atheist. Kind of like the kid from Malibu who never met a person of color before. Ya know ? You want to ask out of curiosity more than anything. I had no intention of putting them down. But there was already enough believer-bashing in the forum to fill a stadium. The professed Atheist seemed overly sensitive to every question posed by anyone who claimed to believe in something.

To me it seemed as though the non-believers in the room had it in for anyone who believed in anything and confessed it in the forum. If I can live with non-believers/Atheist, why can't they live peacefully with believers ? I don't have Jim Bakker on speed dial ready to call him up to give me advice on how to convert "sinners". I don't believe any of us should judge each other. We should all be open-minded. But I have to speak out honestly and say that if being a non-believer means having no love or compassion for fellow human-beings I might have to change my stand on having "everybody as a friend no matter what".

The forum, by the way was supposed to be about crafting. I went in there for advice on using polymer clay. I came out of there feeling like I would have to take my kids and move to a cave before we were hunted down and burned at the stake.

Why do I believe ?

Because I have seen things change in my life that were beyond my control. I have seen angels. I believe because I know HE is real.

What do I believe ?

I believe in a loving, forgiving, merciful God. I do not believe in a God who punishes HIS children or wants to see us suffering (that is the god my mother taught me to believe in). I believe in a God who created us all, yet He gave us freewill. Why freewill ? Because HE wants us to love HIM because we want to not because HE created us and made us to love HIM.

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I love you all and I do not care what you believe. Please, do not judge me for believing. I believe in the God of all creation. I love Him as a daughter loves her Father.

If you want to hear more of why I believe I will tell you some of my experiences. Just ask. I will post a blog about it.

I originally posted this on MySpace.

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I tend to veer slightly off subject when I get fired up about something, so I decided to title this appropriately ahead of time. My original subject was to be focused on fathers (and the absense or presence thereof in their daughter's lives). I am not just speaking of situations of divorce or "baby Daddy" (I am not fond of that phrase either, but it is the popular one that everyone understands). Everyone knows that a mother can hold a special place in the heart of her children. I did not grow up with my birth mother, but I know her and I have seen her all my life. I love her dearly and have a love for her I can not begin to describe. She is a kind, sweet, funny woman. She has a way about her that even through hardships, she has stood tall (all 5 feet 2 inches of her). My real father is less than a man in my eyes. He was never a father to me or my other syblings whom he abandoned. Even though I see him nearly everyday (and was raised by his sister), he never acknowledges me in any way. My adoptive father was not affectionate nor encouraging or loving. He let me know early on that I was only there because his wife wanted kids so badly. I held no importance in his life and was in fact just a thorn in his side.

So, enough about me personally and on to my point. Do fathers honestly believe that it will make no difference if they are not actively and lovingly in their daughters' lives ? Well, men, I have to tell you it makes all the difference in the world as to how a young woman grows and sees herself and how she sees men. We were never meant to raise children as single parents. We were not made to have "baby Daddys". Relationships were not meant to end because of financial disagreements or the loss of interest in your spouse or because you are bored with your life. When parents work together to raise their children it makes a tremendous difference in the way they grow up and how they handle relationships in the future. Fathers should hug their daughters, tell them they are beautiful, let them know how precious they are. Nothing in this world can replace the love of a father. Just as our heavenly Father loves us, earthly fathers should love their children. My focus is on daughters because my husband and I were discussing 3 young ladies in our families whos real fathers had been absent from their lives from early on.

Dads, I got to say, stepfathers can be great men and many stepfathers have a genuine love for their new children. But still the love of the man who fathered you is no replacement. Without a father's guidance, a young girl does not know her worth. She sees no reason to stay close to home and soon begins to search for the love that even she does not fully understand that she is missing.

Many times when I was going through something I longed to tell my father. I wanted so badly to sit next to him on the couch and have him comfort me and tell me that I was worthy and that it would all be ok. Instead, I was told what a disappointment I was or how fat or unattractive I was. I broke free as soon as I could and married a man who was lazy, abusive and a lousy father to the 2  children we had together. And so it was passed down to my oldest daughter and she has struggled with her self-esteem and with relationships. 

Ladies, don't be fooled into thinking that I am pointing fingers at the men. We are at fault for not choosing a life mate better. A one night stand can bring temporary pleasure and a life time of regret. Regret and sorrow for our lonely little children who only want to be loved by both of their parents. 

How can we teach our children to believe in Santa, The Tooth Fairy and even God and not teach them and show them to believe in family and fatherly (and motherly) love ? There are some situations where divorce is all that can be done, but maybe in our society today it is done so easily. I saw a TV program that was talking about a "drive thru divorce". It was literally what it sounds like. Burgers then drive a few blocks over, get your divorce and go back to work. Couples should be encouraged by courts to try and work it out first. 

I think one of the biggest problems is that couples are not best friends. Your spouse does not have to like all the same things you do, but you should choose someone who holds the same beliefs as you. You should enjoy your parteners company. Julian and I are really truly best friends. He is a wonderful man who loves me, holds me, keeps me in place when I start to veer of course and I do the same for him. We discuss all things that happen in each of our lives. We take time to spend time together just talking about things.

My adoptive parents are the furtherest thing from being best friends. If anything they are casual acquaintances. She practically worships him and instead of turning to her God, bases every move she makes on whether he approves--including how she treats her (adopted) children. She once told me that if I lost weight, my "father" would love me. She told my sister if she got a job, Daddy would love her. Yes, we should really have wanted the love and respect of a man who stayed at "the pond" with his drinking buddies until bedtime and only came around to slap the crap out of us for "upsetting mama". And how much respect should I hold for a woman who was so unloving and vendictive that she did all she could to ensure that my 2 oldest children never held any respect for me ?

Children can not just bounce back from unstable childhoods. Parents need to be an example and a source of support. Mom and dad should love their children and spend time with them, talking to them, laugh and joke with them. One fond memory I have of my adoptive father is that he would always tell us jokes and he encouraged us to tell him jokes. That's all I got.

With our children, Julian and I always discuss whatever goes on with them. My adoptive mother once said I had no right to "tattle" to Julian about everything the kids did--she also said this to my children. She thought I should just cover for them. Then they learn to walk all over mom and dad holds no respect in his children's eyes. Mom and dad SHOULD raise their children together--plain and simple ! Grandparents should not discuss what mom or dad did wrong as kids. Be grandparents, bake them cookies, buy them birthday gifts, but when they come to you and say "I hate my mom"...you say, "I will pop your butt if you say that again. You do not talk about your parents that way." 

Families are falling apart in America today. We are losing everything that we were meant to be. Our children have no examples of love and compassion so when someone wrongs them, they right the wrong (in their eyes) and destroy the ones who hurt them. They rush into schools and kill, they mutilate their parents as they sleep, they kill their pregnant girlfriends or cheating boyfriends. They form relationships that are distructive and hurtful.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

I spent many years in torment, because I felt unloved. I felt worthless. Until, I realized that I had to stop drowning in my own sorrow and be a better parent to my own children. My parents will never admit to me the hurt they caused me, but they will face it one day. I am not their judge and I choose not to hold on to the things of the past, but that certainly does not mean they won't be held accountable. I choose to move forward and live happy. They may not know that I am a mother who loves my husband and my children tremendously, but my children, my husband and my God know it.

To be made perfect in love does not mean we never make a mistake, it means that love makes us better people. With love, we can learn to overcome hardships. With love we can love others. Love is a disease we should all hope to catch and pass on.

With that said, we should love all people and especially the little innocent ones. We all have so much to give. We need to take back our families and show our children the way. The Bible says "God will not leave us nor forsake us"...in the same parents should be for their children. How can we expect mercy and forgiveness, if we ourselves do not do the same ? How do we expect our children to grow up healthy and happy if we leave them and forsake them ?

"Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers not be hindered." 1 Peter 3:7

Peace & Blessings Be Yours.

If you could easily choose to live in another country without all the red tape and legal stuff, which one would you select and why? 
Submitted by Matthew 25.

Mexico. Specifically VeraCruz where my husband grew up. Because it is simple, peaceful and beautiful.

Ok. I have been thinking of doing this for a long time. After yesterday, it is time.

I have been buying and selling on eBay for about 4 years now. I have had many many pleasant experiences on eBay. Truth be told, eBay is a good source to save money and a good place to make money. You just have to be careful who you are dealing with. There are just as many (or more) dishonest buyers as there are sellers.

Before I name this week's DeadBeat Seller...let me touch on some tips for eBay sellers and buyers alike...

Paypal ...it pays to use this method to pay for all items on eBay because you are covered in the event you encounter a dishonest seller who does not send your stuff. Paypal WILL refund your money if the seller does not have legit proof of shipping. Proof in PayPal's eyes comes from tracking/delivery confirmation, insurance (which can be tracked as well), or Signature Confirmation (can be tracked, also). A seller can not simply say they have a receipt as proof of shipping.

Too good to be true...your mother may have been the one who told you this ! Well, she was right. You can not buy a 3000 computer for 500 bucks and expect it to work. Read your eBay listing descriptions with great care. Some sellers are very creative with their deceit and others just omit vital info...If a seller does not claim and item is working, you might be out of luck if it arrives to you DOA. Look for words like "works", "works great", "in great working order". Some new sellers may not be aware of this. Just email them and ask if it works and save that email if you decide to buy it. Always ask (when buying a computer) if it has it's operating systems (Windows, etc.).

Sellers, be ware of buyers who offer you extra cash for a foreign transaction. Always be sure that you compare the PayPal info to the eBay info. Don't ever send anything to a different address (even if buyer requests it). Always use tracking. I got ripped off some years ago on an eBay sale. I sent the item with tracking, but the Postal worker never scanned the tracking sticker it has to be scanned when YOU send it and cannot be scanned anywhere else in between). It was $300 worth of merchandise. She actually sent part of the order back (it was clothing) without my consent, then claimed she never got it. She kept what she wanted from the order and got all her money back. I went out of business for a year or so because of the loss and because I was so disheartened by the whole deal. I emailed, faxed, phoned PayPal and even had the Post Master call them to explain the mistake on their end...No good. PayPal is very strict about their tracking policy. I learned alot from that experience. Since then I TRACK EVERYTHING. I do not ship to countries where I can not track an order.

Ok. My DeadBeat Seller Award goes to billoria on eBay. I recently opened a second eBay account so that I could buy supplies for my crafting, etc. and keep it apart from my selling account. One of the very first things I purchased was back in the middle of November. The seller sent the item very promptly and I was satisfied with it. I left glowing feedback for her. I waited a week and still had no feedback. I emailed the seller and she said she had so many to do that she only left FB once every 2 weeks or so. Ok. Fine. I would wait...but the thing about eBay is that until your Feedback gets to 10 or above, your account is VERY restricted. So, I wanted to get to 10 so I could have that restriction lifted. So, yesterday I emailed the seller again...My email was not rude, but was straight to the point...if she could email me to say she could not leave feedback, she could leave feedback. Simple and easy. Well, I get a long-winded response very quickly about her having just ahd a liver transplant, having Lupus, she also has an enlarged heart and has had the flu twice in a week. Now, I am not cold-hearted, but it has been my experience that the whiners are usually the liars (on eBay). I have legitimate health issues, but they are private and personal. I do not choose to share them (or blame them on) strangers. If she was truly as ill as she claims, why would she say her routine was to leave Feedback once every 2 weeks ? I was hospitalized last year and had kidney surgery, but I did not share that with my eBay buyers. It was not their fault or their business. I have an enalrged heart and arthritis in my back...it is not a reason to be mean or vindictive...I emailed the seller back and said her health issues were not my concern, I simply asked for feedback....So, she sends one last email to let me know that she has paid me back for my asking for feedback...she left me nasty feedback ! So, I let her know I would write blogs all over the internet about her...Check her feedback, you can see when a seller does bad business...she has claimed numerous times to have been very ill and not sent items, etc.

We have all been sick. Ran into problems, etc. but since when is it okay to take it out on the customer ? Since when is it okay to be spiteful instead of doing the right thing ? The fact that this person continued to list items in the time she was supposed to have been sick speaks volumes !!

billoria (ebay ID)

Be wise, folks...stay away from this seller ! She is spiteful, most likely a liar and a DEADBEAT seller ! I did report her to eBay, but it is unlikely they will take action against her...